it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize