no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
