I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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