i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
