whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
