They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
