If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize