so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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