He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
