sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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