i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
