Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
