This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
