My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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