lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
