I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want to have your abortion
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
