before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
