you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
