the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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