i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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