now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
