I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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