Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
