i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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