I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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