My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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