Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
