You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
