so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
