it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I die, sorry about rent.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
