wrigley field is MILF paradise
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
