yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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