He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
