Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
