this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
