i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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