from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize