tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
