my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
