Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
