I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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