When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
