If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
