Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
