Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
