plz talk dirty to me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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