I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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