did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
