all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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