Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
