help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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