did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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