turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
