Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
