He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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