Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
