I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
