Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
