who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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