Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize