I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
