Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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