i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize